OKLAHOMA CITY/EDMOND OKLAHOMA NEWBORN, CHILD AND FAMILY DOCUMENTARY PHOTOGRAPHER
Our girl is 1!
Her party was low-key & lovely, despite the holiday season (& strep throat) keeping some of our loved ones away. I thoroughly enjoyed decorating for the big day, especially filling every frame in our house to a photo of Emma. We celebrated her with snacks, gifts, and a lot of strawberry cake. I love seeing her so loved by the people I love the most.
I wrote a little tribute that I’ll share again, mainly for my memory.
Happy Birthday, Emma!
O N E.
As of 10:09am, we’ve had an entire year with you.
My goodness, where do I start with all my feelings?
How about the beginning, when you were a perfect, microscopic snowflake. A frozen embryo in a cryobank, traveling from one family’s hearts into ours. We didn’t know you. We didn’t know your name. But I knew you were the one for us.
I carried you. Your heart beat just below mine. You kicked & flipped in my tummy, as if I needed the reminder of our miracle.
And then on December 28th, 2018, we drove to the hospital in nervous silence. We went through the sterile motions to prepare for your arrival. I shook on the operating table as your daddy and I waited behind that claustrophobic blue curtain. I felt frozen in a fog, until our doctor shouted, “here she is!” and held your wet, dark-headed, 7 pound-1 ounce body up to the small square of clear plastic. I kissed you through that plastic and then I cried. Your daddy hollered all about you from across the operating room, and I cried. I was a scared, freezing, nervous mom. A MOM. Thank you, God, I was finally a mom.
That was only the beginning. Since that day, every single emotion I’ve had has been amplified.
I will forever remember our time in the hospital. Awake for 48 straight hours nursing you, learning you, and loving you. Your daddy was so tired he didn’t even know his own name. I was too high on happiness & adrenaline to focus on anything but you.
Our new life began in room 404, but it blossomed when we brought you home. I have so many sacred, special memories from those first days, weeks, & months of maternity leave. I remember some of those rough nights, tag teaming the guesswork with your daddy, but the good days far outweighed the hard. My dreams were literally alive right in front of my eyes, in my arms, and - my favorite - curled up on your daddy’s chest.
Every milestone you met meant more joy & pride & fullness in our hearts. I mean, I almost cried when you rolled over! Now you’re this adorable, petite person with a powerful personality. I don’t even think we get to take credit for just how dang perfect you are. Your facial expressions alone fill my cup every single day.
We’ve had the very best year with you. We traveled with you, sleep trained you, fought about you, worried about you, read to you, laughed with you —— the list is endless.
And now, we’ll celebrate you.
Emma, you made me a mama. For every prayer I prayed and for every tear I cried waiting for you, I’ve prayed more prayers of thankfulness and cried more tears of happiness. At the time, I just thought my heart was getting emptier and emptier with each scary step: needing a reproductive endocrinologist, attempting IVF, attempting IVF again, and then moving on, leaving our genetics behind. Turns out, God was shaping, stretching, and growing my heart to make it big enough to hold all my love for you.
Even after all of that, it’s still not big enough. It overflowed long ago, when I first laid eyes on you.
Happy birthday, Emma Hope. My new dream in life is to make sure you experience the same joy you have given me. I love you.
